I need to write..

I just need to..

I don't believe you when you say I'm pretty or beautiful. Cause I'm not, just look at me I'm just plain old boring Olivia. I'm nothing special. I'm not worth being called pretty. Save the words to someone who actually is pretty. I know my friends are prettier than me, just open your eyes, then you'll see. I'm only pretty when I edit my pictures, people never get to see the originals, cause there not pretty, I don't want that person to be me, but it is, unfortunately.... I've always told myself that I'm pretty enough, but am I really?..

Oh well, it's been a fine day today, well most of the day, when I were on my way to training, Iwhere in the train. I don't think I've felt that lonely in over a year, it actually felt like I were the only person in the world, like no one cared, yay, I felt like I were no one to everybody, like I could just disappear and no one would even wonder where I were. I hate it, why do I have to feel this way?? Why can't I just be happy, please. I got to know. I need to find the answers, I need to be happy again.

I have a goal, this fall I want to have one day where I don't have any sad thoughts. It's going to be difficult, but I want to, just one day, that's all I'm asking. One day where I don't feel like crap, one day where I don't wanna hit someone or cry. One day, that's all. Im begging you, please. Just one day...

You must be tired of listening to all my depressing thoughts.. So I actually have good news, well kind of good news, I'm going to a party tomorrow with my class. It's going to be... Interesting, not going to drink, I've got an important game on sunday.