P.S. I love you

But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

I watched "P.S. I love you" last night, not to feel sorry for my self or to cry, but to remind myself that even though it hurts, I can fall in love again, I will fall in love again. And I shouldn't be afraid of falling in love again, cause he choose to leave me. He is one chapter in my life.. There will be more.

Depressing thoughts.

I'll come back to the picture. Not having the best of times at the moment. I don't know where to start. My sister died on the second of February, she's been in and out of the hospital the last year, but this time she didn't make it. It's hard getting through this, because I can't just start crying. I feel like I need to be strong, for her. But yes, I do feel like crying and just give up on everything, but I won't do that. I'll get through it with my family.
I'd never had my heart broken, before he broke it. I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I'm in the making of a decision, I won't tell it here, cause I know he might read it. But I have to talk to him.. We'll se how it goes.

Letting go

"To let go isnt to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isnt about winning or losing. Its not about pride and its not about how you appear, and its not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesnt leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. Its not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isnt about loss and its not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. Its about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up."

How? Why? What?

How can it still be hurting?

Why is it still hurting?

What can I do to make it stop?

Love doesn't hurt.

I love you

He is like a drug to me..

..And there is nothing I can do.

Trying to go on "Rehab". If he doesn't want me, then why do I keep wanting him? Because he completes me, that's why. I keep asking myself these questions, like one day I'll be able to say "I don't want him anymore", but the truth is I'll always want him.

He says what he feels for me, is the love for a friend. But I don't believe him. I think he has convinced himself to feel like that. But who am I to say? I still hope, every day, that he'll wake up and realize the mistake he has made. Like I every day wake up, realizing how much I miss him and need him. So much it hurts..

People all say, it's gonna be okay. But when? when does the "Okay" part begin? Cause I con't feel it. I don't love him any less now, I don't miss him less, I still need him as much as I did before, I still think about him as much. It doesn't hurt any less thinking about him. It don't feel easier knowing he's not mine. So when? When is it going to be okay?