I love you

He is like a drug to me..

..And there is nothing I can do.

Trying to go on "Rehab". If he doesn't want me, then why do I keep wanting him? Because he completes me, that's why. I keep asking myself these questions, like one day I'll be able to say "I don't want him anymore", but the truth is I'll always want him.

He says what he feels for me, is the love for a friend. But I don't believe him. I think he has convinced himself to feel like that. But who am I to say? I still hope, every day, that he'll wake up and realize the mistake he has made. Like I every day wake up, realizing how much I miss him and need him. So much it hurts..

People all say, it's gonna be okay. But when? when does the "Okay" part begin? Cause I con't feel it. I don't love him any less now, I don't miss him less, I still need him as much as I did before, I still think about him as much. It doesn't hurt any less thinking about him. It don't feel easier knowing he's not mine. So when? When is it going to be okay?

Christmas eve

I know everybody is all like "Just be happy you even got something". Well I have to say I'm kind off disappointed. Got a giftcard for Fona. Ya I can use that. But other than that I "only" got 600 kr. I can't really buy anything I like with that. I know what I want is expensive.. But I kind off hoped they would surprise me and get me one of those things. But no. Haven't gotten the gift from my mom yet. But she can't afford the gifts either. So I got to wait till my eighteens birthday. But that's only in three months..

Today has also been the day where I've missed having a boyfriend the most, having someone who loves you give you a present you know you'll love no matter what, sending him a long text with how glad you are and how  much you love him. Also giving a gift to someone you love. So this has actually been the day I've missed Christian the most as my boyfriend and so it hurts. Also because I know what I wanted to give him..

God damn you're beautiful

that one person

Life

Dont know what to write, so just letting you all know that I'm alive.

Going up

I've been to Lübeck for the last couple of days. It wasn't like "The best trip ever, never wanna go home", but it felt nice getting away from everything..

Getting oh so very drunk on next thuesday!! Going to drink all the pain away and lose control!
Bought a dress today in New Yorker! sexy! Maybe going to buy some high heels, not quite sure though.